No Wings To Fly
by Marie Darkholme
Summary: Someone commits suicide. The only way out when you think you caan't take it anymore. Taiora evidences, Mimato, Takari FINISHED
1. 0 Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. The storyline is, however, of my authory.

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No Wings To Fly

by

Marie Darkholme

**0. Prologue**

I sat on my bed. My view was blurred by my crying eyes. I wiped them to my arm. I looked around my empty room. The pain was too much to handle. I just couldn't stand it.

I looked at my hands and again around me. It seemed unbelievable, surreal. I still couldn't figure how I got myself into it. I picked the sharp object at my side.

It was over.

My tired body fell over the bed. A red liquid fluid slipped over my hands through my fingertips, finally ending on the floor. I could almost hear the drops hitting the ground.

It was over.

I closed my eyes. As my mind drifted away, I couldn't feel anything anymore. Then memories started filling my empty mind. Memories of other times when I was young and life didn't seemed as complicated and bad as now. Then memories of pain came but I didn't fight them back.

It was over now.


	2. 1 Starting

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

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No Wings To Fly

by

Marie Darkholme

**1. Starting...**

I walked down the street. It was a bright sunny afternoon. I was going to meet two of my best friends. I smiled as a sixteen years old girl with pink hair entered my view-distance. I ran towards her, trying to make the lowest noise possible. Then I put my hands on her shoulders screaming a huge _Boo!_ She jumped from her spot and turned around to meet her opponent.

"Sora! Are you crazy?" she started yelling at me but I didn't give her much attention. Mimi was just like that. She had been one of my best friends since first grade.

"So, are you going to the concert?" I asked her as we kept walking down the street. She smiled. Of course she was going to be there. Her longtime love was going to be singing. Ishida Yamato had been one of my best friends since we met in the third grade. Mimi was in the same class as I and as soon as she saw him she fall madly and deeply in love with him. He was the vocalist of the band _Ice Wolves_ along with my best friend, Taichi.

I met Taichi when we were little, about four years-old or so. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen. He had this messy brown hair and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He was a football player but sometimes he sang in Yamato's band. Kind of like an honorific member.

"Of course I'm going. Do you think I would miss Matt singing?" Mimi replied, blinking an eye to me.

"Yeah, I knew you wouldn't." I smiled. We both kept walking. After a couple of minutes I started noticing that something was wrong with Mimi. She usually talked a lot about going shop or going to the movies or anything else that came to her mind. But at that moment she was quiet, way too quiet.

"Mimi, is everything alright?" I asked her. I couldn't help noticing how nervous she looked. Was she hiding something from me?

"Yes!" she replied. "Everything is fine." I eyed her with suspiciously but she forced a change of subject. "Let's go or we'll be late." She said.

We arrived at the auditorium, where the concert was going to be held, minutes later. A bunch of hysterical girls were still trying to buy tickets. The Ice Wolves had gathered quite a bunch of fans in Odaiba. There were always girls ready to follow them all over school, and even Taichi, a sometimes band member, had his own fanclub.

We left them behind and greeted Takeru. He was Yamato's little brother. He allowed us in with a smile. The girls launched us evil stares ready to kill if they were allowed to. I ignore that, but Mimi couldn't handle their glares very well.

"Where are you looking at?" she shouted to the girls. They quickly turned away and started to chat with their friends or simply looked at other side. Takeru and I snickered.

"So, are Tai and Matt here already?" I asked Takeru, trying to avoid a scene from Mimi.

"Yeah, they arrived a couple of minute ago." he replied. "I could take you there but I'm kind of busy controlling the crowd." He playfully said. Mimi and I laughed and headed out to our sits.

We sat in the two reserved chairs in the front row of the auditorium. Some girls that were already inside gave us more evil looks. Mimi was driving them crazy. Besides being a beautiful girl and a model, she had Yamato's complete attention. Though they weren't a couple, at least not yet, every fan of Yamato was jealous of Mimi.

Mimi ignored them and waited patiently for the concert to begin. But something told me she was not herself today. She seemed tense and was always looking around. I couldn't figure what was going on so I tried to start a conversation.

"How are things with Matt?" I asked. Mimi smiled. "Well, I don't think he knows I have feelings for him but at least I spend a lot of time with him and he is so sweet." She replied. I could see the glow in her eyes every time she talked about him. Then, without announcing, her face saddened again.

"What's up Mimi? What are you trying to keep from me?" I asked. She sighed and watched the empty stage.

"Are you going to the party after the concert at Matt's?" she asked. I gave her a cold stare. She was changing subjects. What the hell was going on? I thought friends told everything to each other.

"If you don't want to tell, then don't, okay? ", I said, crossing my arms in my chest and turning to the stage. "It's not that, Sora. It's just..."

"Forget it. I don't want to hear it." I cut her off. Then we both looked at the stage but I could see Mimi wasn't mad at me. She was behaving strangely. I tried o concentrate on something else but I couldn't stop thinking. I was feeling bad because of what I had said.

Suddenly, the lights went on in the stage and Hikari, Taichi's little sister, entered. There were also a bunch of instruments in the stage behind her. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a blue shirt with a scarf around her neck. I waved her and she blinked to us.

"And now," she began "we present to you the Ice Wolves in their first real concert." Everyone applauded. Hikari left and the lights went off again. Then a blue light appeared showing Yamato in the middle of the stage with the micro on one hand and his eyes shut. A guitar was heard and a yellow light illuminated Hiroshi, the Ice Wolves' guitarist. There were screams in the audience by some hysterical girls.

Another thud was heard but this time by the piano and another guy appeared. Another sound from a battery and a green light illuminated Kay. Then the concert began. Matt sang full lungs. I could see him looking straight at Mimi, as she watched him too. I couldn't get why those two weren't together yet. It was obvious they were head-over-heels for each other.

The concert continued until almost at the end. "We have a special guest singing with us tonight." Yamato announced. One light focused a corner on the stage and a brown haired guy appeared. He had his own guitar and smiled while he waved to the crowd. Again some hysterical screams were heard.

Taichi walked to Yamato's side and greeted him with a male hand shake. "I'm glad to be here today." He said, then they started singing. My heart fell into a pool of sweetness and passion as I heard him sing. I felt my cheeks burning in the dark. Fortunately no one saw.

I had been hidding my feelings for Taichi since ever. Not even Mimi knew about it. We were friends for too long for me to ruin it with passion feelings. But every time I saw him and heard his voice my whole body was shaken inside.

Finally, after four more songs, the concert was over. Mimi and I had to wait for the boys to finish giving autographs and taking pictures. I saw as Mimi almost burned with anger as dozens of girls surrounded Yamato. I knew how it felt. I was burning in anger too, but they were only a bunch of girls and I was sure they would never conquer a warrior's heart like Taichi's.

Mimi and I sat on a bench near the auditorium waiting for the guys. After about half an hour they finally showed up. It was night now. Yamato had lipstick with lips' marks all over his face. We both started laughing. He looked confused at us.

"What?" he asked. The band started laughing too. "Matt, man, you have lipstick all over your face", Kay laughed. Mimi picked up a mirror from her purse, she always went out with one. She handed it to Yamato and he looked astonished to his face.

"Oh, man. I look one of those clowns of the circus." another general laugh. He wiped the lipstick marks with an handkerchief. I looked over to Taichi, who was talking with the piano guy whose name I didn't know. He was so hot with the guitar hanging over his left shoulder and the blue bandana on his head along with a pair of corsairs. (A.N: I don't know how you called in English but they are that half pants, half shorts that reached under your knees and above your ankle) I quickly looked the other way when I noticed that I was staring, very close to drool.

The guys kept talking with each other. Mimi was close to Yamato and he had his arm over her shoulders. She looked passionately at him. I wondered once again if they weren't secretely already a couple. Taichi spoke and laughed with Hiroshi and the other guy. I felt kind of left out. I sat on the bench again. Why are we still here and not at Matt's, was the question in my head. Suddenly I noticed someone sitting by my side.

"Hey Sora." Kay said. "What are you doing here all alone?" I smiled at him. He had this huge green eyes and short spiked brown hair.

"I'm waiting." I replied.

"Oh, I see. We're just waiting for Matt's brother and Tai's sister." He said. Like the dictation says, when you speak in the devil he appears. Not that Takeru and Hikari were evil.

They came towards us, hand in hand, with a huge smile. I could figure what had happened. Another couple. It was time too. I blinked an eye to Hikari and she blinked back giving me the affirmative sign. Kay looked confused at us, but then he shrugged his shoulders and stood up.

"Now that everyone is here, we might as well go." He said. The group shouted yes in unison and we started walking to Matt's. When we arrived, Jyou and Koushiro, another two friends of ours, were waiting at the front door with their arms crossed over their chests.

"Well, I was about to go home." Jyou said. "I have a test tomorrow and if it wasn't for Mimi and Sora I wouldn't be here." I smiled. Mimi and I had almost begged Jyou to come tonight. Yamato and the other started laughing and Jyou laughed along with them. On the other hand, Koushiro remained silent. He watched as Mimi and Yamato exchanged looks between them.

I went over to him as we waited for Yamato to open the door. "Don't be sad. Be happy for their happiness" I told the red headed. He smiled. "Yeah, I know but it still hurts." He replied. I gave him a huge hug. "I know it does."

Koushiro had feelings for Mimi since they first met five years ago, in one of my schoolmate's birthday party. But he never had the courage to tell her, especially because he knew her heart belonged to another guy.

Yamato finally opened the door and we managed to get in. It was all set up for the party. I looked to my watch. It was ten o'clock. We had half hour to get evrything ready because after lots of friends were coming.

Mimi, Hikari and I started putting down the food over the huge table in the centre of the garden as the guys put tables and chairs around it. When everything was ready, people started entering. They greeted Yamato and the rest of the band and hang around. Taichi lglanced insistently towards the door as if he was searching for someone.

"Is Tai waiting for someone?" I asked Hikari. She gave me an _I don't know_ look and went to ask her boyfriend for a dance. I sat in one of the tables. Mimi and Yamato were dancing and even Jyou and Koushiro had found two blond twins from Mimi's class to take them to the dance floor.

Once again, Kay came to sit by my side. "Are you enjoying the party?" he asked. I gave him another of my _leave me alone_ smiles, but I guess he didn't get it because he stayed and started chatting.

All I did was nod and adding some _yeah_ and _right_ in the middle, but he seemed happy with that. I just couldn't take my eyes from Taichi. He just kept looking over to the garden's door. He was obviously waiting for someone, but who?

Suddenly, a black haired girl came in. She had blue eyes and an athletic body. She wore a black dress that reached above her knees and her waved hair reached her middle back. She looked around a few times until she saw who she was looking for. He too acknowledged her presence and stood up and walked over to her. Then all went too fast for me. The brown haired man took the blue eyed girl in his arms and kissed her lips in a passionate kiss.

I felt my head spinning around and I had to push myself against the chair in order not to fall. But I kept watching the scene that was burned in my eyes. The two walked to a table and started chatting. He had his arms around her and she sat on his lap with her hand on his chest. And then they kissed again. And again I felt my head spinning around. I felt like to throw up as I watched them kiss.

I ran out of the garden to the street and leaned my head against a tree before I started throwing up. I fell on my knees when the food crawling up my throat seemed to be suffocating me. A guy appeared from behind and placed his hand on my shoulder. I turned startled to face Kay looking down concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded. "You just left running. Are you sick?" he asked sitting by my side away from the vomit. I couldn't get why the hell was he being nice to me.

"I must have eaten something bad." I told him, but then my feelings betrayed me and I started crying.

"Why are you crying?" Kay asked. I didn't answer and just kept crying. And the funniest thing was that none of my friends had even noticed I was gone.

"Here!" Kay said handing me something. I wiped my eyes to see what it was. It was a hand rolled cigarette. I handed it over to him again.

"I don't smoke, Kay." I said. He smiled and placed it again in my hand.

"It's just one, it won't kill you. And will make you fell better." He said. I laughed.

"How the hell is a cigarette supposed to make me feel better?" He smiled.

"C'mon, there's no use trying to hide your jealousy." He smirked. I started at him. How could he know? Was it that obvious? He smirked and took another cigarette from his pocket along with matches. "Just one?" he said as he put his cigarette on his mouth.

"Okay." I agreed. Just one. It wouldn't end my life. Just a tryout. I put the cigarette in my mouth and allowed my smoke companion to light it.

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So, how it was for the first chapter? I hope you like it. Review please. I will try to publish the next chapter as soon as I can.

PS: This chapter has been edited.


	3. 2 Shattered Pieces

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. If I did, Taichi would have had the balls to confess to Sora. Argh!! Sorry about that.

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No Wings To Fly

by

Marie Darkholme

**2. Shattered Pieces**

I coughed when the smoke entered my lungs for the first time. Kay laughed as he made a smoke ring with his cigarette. I punched him playfully in his shoulder and tried again. This time I managed not to cough as much, and I felt the smoke making his way out of my mouth.

"You're a fast learner." Kay said. I smiled. I had always been a fast learner. I took another breathe and watched the smoke fill the air around me, rise in the sky and disappear. Suddenly it was like the entire world was gone and there was only me and the soothing of smoking.

"What is this stuff?" I asked Kay. This time was his turn to cough.

"You don't know what this is?"

I shook my head. "So what is it?" I tried once more, though it seemed difficult to Kay to say what it was.

"We're smoking a joint." He replied.

My turn to cough. I didn't know that that was drug. Well, it didn't matter anyway. It made me feel good. I took another breathe and tried to make a smoke ring like Kay. Several failed tries.

I felt Kay watching me. I looked at him. He wasn't looking, he was actually staring. I was embarrassed. Was my way of smoking so interesting or did I have ashes in my hair?

"What?" I asked getting really tired of his continuous stare. But he didn't reply. He kept staring. I looked into his green eyes that seemed to be locked in me. I passed my hand in front of his eyes. "Hello? Anyone there?" I asked playfully. Then, Kay grabbed my hand. I couldn't figure what he was doing.

"You're so beautiful, Sora." He said. As the words came out from his mouth, I felt my cheeks burning up. No one had ever told me that.

"Thanks!" I said. Then, like he thought he did something wrong, Kay released my hand and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry!" he said. I didn't understand why he was saying sorry since he hadn't done anything wrong, but anyway, I continued smoking my joint and he continued smoking his.

Every breathe I took seemed to take me into the sky and then nothing else mattered. I just floated there. Kay was near me. He seemed to be having the same experience.

Suddenly, he started laughing loudly. I didn't know why, but I too felt like laughing and after a few seconds we were both laughing our heads out.

The party indoors seemed to continue without troubles. My friends had completely forgotten me, but, at the time, I didn't really care. I just wanted to smoke peacefully. I wondered why I had never tried it before. It was so good and made me feel so well. I cursed the nights alone crying in my bed. If I had tried it then...

I was feeling so happy, that I decided to go to the party. By that time I had completely forgot about Taichi and his girlfriend. I stood up and dragged Kay with me. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"To the party of course."

We entered the garden. Mimi and Yamato were slow dancing together. I blinked at my friend. She had wished she could slow dance with him tonight. Next to them were Koushiro and Jyou, who seemed to have lost their dance partners because the two blond twins were now dancing with two other guys.

I went to sit by their side. Kay had hold onto my hand. I didn't mind. We sat at the table. I smiled to my two lost boys, but they seemed to be more interested in our hands.

"Are you two...?" Koushiro asked. I quickly released Kay's hand. "No!" Koushiro shrank his shoulders. "Sorry, but it seems like everyone is dating someone except for Jyou and I." He sadly replied.

"But Mimi and Matt aren't dating either." I told them, but to my big surprise, they shook their heads. "Where have you been, Matt just sang a few minutes ago a song dedicated to Mimi telling her he loved her." Jyou said.

I looked at the couple again and noticed that was something different about them. I smiled. Mimi was so lucky. It was then that I remembered Taichi. I looked around trying to spot him, but I couldn't.

Kay looked at me and gave me the face _are you looking for him_. I nodded and he sighed. It was then that I started thinking about Kay's behaviour towards me. But I remained silent so my suspicions remained that, just suspicions.

"Where's Tai?" I asked Koushiro and Jyou. The blue haired leaned against the chair in a reflexive position. "I think he and Tsubane went outside." He said. My eyes dropped slightly, but no one, except Kay noticed.

"Yeah, no wonder. With that babe, I wouldn't be in here either." Koushiro said. My heart sank. Koushiro talking about ..._babes_? Man!

"Right again, my friend, but don't forget that you aren't the all mighty soccer, half time singer and guitarist, Taichi Kamiya." Jyou replied and then they both started laughing.

I felt as if I had been put in a cold shower. The dreaming effect of the joint was starting to disappear. Tears filled my eyes, but I couldn't let my friends know about it, so I excused myself to the bathroom.

I rushed in and closed the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror and punched it so hard that broke scratches appeared in it. I looked at my clothes. I wore a pair of blue jeans and a crimson t-shirt. How could I even be compared with that astonishing woman in that sexy black dress?

I punched the mirror harder and it broke in a myriad of pieces. It made a lot of noise but I guess with the music no one heard it. I looked at the pieces in the floor. It was ironical how they resembled my heart.

I was shaken off my thoughts by a knock in the door. "It's busy!" I yelled. "Sora, are you okay?" a voice said from the other side of the door. I leaned against the opposite wall of the said mirror. Kay. This was starting to be very annoying and yet, kind of sweet in a way.

I opened the door, closing it again, without giving him a chance to see the broken mirror. "What?" I asked almost yelling again. My polliteness was over. Kay looked at me, without any kind of surprise or anger. Somehow that amazed me. This guy, that barely knew me, wasn't angry at me even though I yelled and treated him like garbage.

He took my hand, and only then I noticed it was bleeding. My hand was bleeding quite a bit. With my hand on his, Kay opened the bathroom door and pushed me in. Then he closed the door again. I was too surprised to react.

He looked at the broken mirror. "I wouldn't want you mad at me." He said, but I was still frozen in my surprise that grew every passing second. Kay picked my hand up and washed it. Then he tried to see if there were any shattered pieces in it. I watched him as he took care of me.

He picked a scarf from his pocket. A green scarf, like his eyes and bandaged my hand with it. "Maybe you should go home now." He told me. My eyes were still fixed on him.

"Yeah, maybe I should."

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Thanks for reviewing my prologue. I hope you liking it. I know that this was suppose to be a Taiora but I'm not finished yet so wait. I'll will update as soon as I can. Please review this chapter. It's good to know that someone appreciates our work.

PS: This chapter was edited.


	4. 3 Who's There?

Disclaimer: guess what? I don't own Digimon. But I do own Kay. He's all mine.

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No Wings To Fly

by

Marie Darkholme

**3. Who's There?**

I left the bathroom still in choque. I couldn't have even imagined Kay could be so sympathetic. I thought he was just a brat but he wasn't. On my way out, I saw Taichi and Tsubane. They were kissing and hugging. Again I felt like throwing up. I ran as fast as I could home.

When I arrived, my mom wasn't home yet, so I went straight to the bathroom. I took Kay's scarf out and started disinfecting my hand, bandaging it when I was over. Then I out on my pyjama and lied down on my bed.

I stared at the ceiling thinking about all the stuff that had happened that day. About Taichi and Kay. I hated the fact that Taichi had another girlfriend, but still, I wanted to see him happy. But I couldn't help being sad. And then, there was Kay. He had been so nice to me all day. First after the concert and then in the party.

My feelings were confused. I loved Taichi but he had a girlfriend and Kay was so cool and all. I shook my head to clear my mind, and I remembered about the broken mirror. Man, Matt was going to be so mad, when he finds out. So, I just decided to call him. And I owned him an apology for leaving without saying anything. I picked the phone and dialled his number.

"Hi, Ishida Yamato here?" a voice replied from the other side of the line.

"Hi Matt. It's Sora" I replied. "Sora?! Were are you? I thought you were here?" he said. "Yeah, but I wasn't feeling very good so I came home earlier. Look, I think you didn't go to your bathroom yet, but I called just to tell ya that I'll pay for it, okay? Sorry. Bye." I put the phone back in its place. I could hear Yamato's voice saying what in a confused tone on the other side, but I didn't want him to start asking questions so I just hung up.

I made my way to the kitchen and picked some cookies on the way. Then I went to bed again. I turned on my CDs' player and put Linkin Park playing. It was my type of music. The one that made you think about something important.

It was half past four in the morning and I still hadn't gone to sleep. My mom had arrived about two and went straight to bed, not even caring if I was already in bed. I turned once more the music on and crawled to my bed again.

I couldn't stop thinking and that filled my mind and didn't allow me to sleep. I finally gave up. It was five in the morning and I was still awake. I crawled off bed and turned on my computer.

It took about three minutes till I got access to the Internet. I logged in and entered my favourite website. I started reading the stories there and that filled my mind. It was a fiction website where people from everywhere posted their stories. Every time I started reading, it was like the rest of the world was gone.

I stayed there reading until seven when I turned off the computer and dressed myself. It was a school day. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had these black holes under my eyes. I washed my face with cold water in order to wake myself.

The kitchen was empty when I arrived. My mom was still asleep. I walked in and started making breakfast. I put milk in a giant bowl and added cereals. Then I started eating.

My mom woke up at half past seven. "What are you doing already up?" she asked me. I was about to answer but I was interrupted. "What time did you arrive last night? I told you not to stay past twelve didn't I?" I was about to reply, when I got interrupted ... again. "You're always hanging out with your friends, but that's over girl. It's time to take some responsibilities. "she said.

"But ..." I tried for the third time. "No buts. Now get your ass up and go do your bed." She said. What the hell?! She didn't even listen to me. Was she mad? Always going out? I felt like slap her. I hadn't gone out with my friends for almost two months, and I had to beg her to go to that concert.

"I already did my bed." I answered. The hint of challenge was clear in my voice. She looked deep into my eyes. My rage was up to the limit. I didn't have to put that up with everyday. The next thing I know, I was lying on the floor with my hand over my cheek. This time there were no tears. I bit my lip in anger till it was bleeding.

"After school, I want you to help me at the flower shop." She said and left. I stood up, picked my bag up and left too to school. It was so unfair. I lived alone with my mom. My father had abandoned her when she got pregnant with me and she had always kept rage from him and discharged it on me.

It was still early when I arrived school, so I just sat outside waiting for my friends. I was still pissed off with my mom. Going out every day... she was definitely out of her mind.

It was almost time for school, but my friends hadn't arrived yet. Suddenly I heard a noise from behind me. I turned to find Kay standing there. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scary you!" he said approaching and sitting by my side. I smiled. Someone that cared about me.

"Of course. Don't worry." I told him. "I wanted to..." I started but I stopped when I felt his hand on mine. "I see you bandaged your hand properly." He replied. "About yesterday, do you need to talk?" he asked. I looked at him.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say. I wanted to thank you for... you know...being with me." I said. He smiled. A smile so beautiful. "Don't need to thank. I was just helping out a friend." Kay replied. "But, are you better now?"

I nodded. Yeah I was much better now. We remained there chatting, until Mimi arrived. Somehow I felt like she was taking away the fun I was having talking with Kay. We seemed long date friends and I was having such a great time with him that I almost forgot about Taichi.

But Mimi arrived. She approached us. "Hi!" "Hi Mimi" I replied. "I think I better go now." Kay said to my unhappiness. "No!" I replied. "Stay. We were having such a great time." "We'll chat later, Sor. But now, I really must go." He said. Then he kissed me in my cheek, and waved bye to Mimi while he went inside the school building.

Mimi sat by my side. She had a strange look on her face. "We need to talk." She said with the most serious look I had ever seen. "What about?" I asked looking at the door where Kay had disappeared through. "About Taichi." She said. My eyes dropped. I knew she was taking away the fun I was having.

"What about him?" I asked, trying not to sound sad. "What happened last night, Sora? You left after breaking Matt's bathroom mirror. Look at your hand." She said grabbing my bandaged hand. I retrieved my hand from hers and kept looking ahead. "I told Matt not to worry. I'll pay for it." I said. Mimi sighed. "You know Matt is not worry about the mirror, but about you, and so are Izzy, Jyou and I."

Yeah, I know they were worried about me, but so what? "You don't need to be worried. I lost my temper for a sec there. It won't happen again, okay?" I replied. Mimi sighed again. She was annoying me with all the sighing.

"What about Kay? What were you doing with him last night?" she asked. This was too much. "What the hell do you have to do with my life? I think I can be with whoever I wish, doing whatever I want. You seem like my mother. Besides we were only talking." I yelled. Then I stood up and walked away, but not too far, 'cause Mimi came after me.

"Is it truth that you two were smoking yesterday?" I stopped and faced her, my face burning in anger. "Who told you that?" "Jyou and Izzy said you smelled to cigarettes." She said. "Were you smoking Sora? I'm your friend, you can tell me." "Yeah, but it was just one. And who are Jyou and Izzy to spy on what I'm doing?" I yelled again and walked away.

"But, Sora, we're just trying to help you." Mimi said chasing me. "Well, forget it. I'm okay. I don't need help." I replied and then ran away from her. Mimi wasn't that good in sports and quickly got tired. I just kept running. I didn't feel like going to class, but I wasn't going home either.

I ended up in an alley. My eyes were crying again. Tears of anger and sadness; I didn't know how I felt any more. I punched the naked wall with my bandaged fist that started bleeding again, covering the bandage with blood. I looked at my hurt hand and leaned against the wall crying, allowing myself to fall and sit on the street, crying myself out.

Suddenly, I heard a sound from behind a trash bin. "Who's there?" I asked.

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-- Liking it so far? I hope so. Thanks Kawaii-Q for reviewing. It means a lot to me. As always, I'll try to write the next chapter as soon as I can. About Taichi. Well, he may be with Tsubane now, but he certainly won't end up with her. About Sora. I don't know. I like my new character, Kay, and Sora is definitely falling for him but she still has feelings for Taichi, so I don't really know what's going to happen. About Takari. I'm sorry not to put them on my latest chapters, but I think they will end up with a good role on Sora's fate.

PS: this chapter has been edited.


	5. 4 Following

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Unfortunately...

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No Wings To Fly

by

Marie Darkholme

**4. Following**

I stood up in a defensive position. The person behind the trash bin revealed herself. I relaxed when I recognized Kay.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scary you." He said approaching. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and faked a smile. He approached me and grabbed my hands. That was really beginning to be a habit, one that I thought was particularly sweet of him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, walking the opposite way to the other wall, releasing my hands from his. I turned to face him but his back were still turned on me.

"I followed you." He replied turning to face me with a smile pasted on his face, his green eyes looking straight at me in an intense way. He followed me? But why and how? I thought he was at school.

"You followed me?" I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah! I'm sorry about that too, but I heard you yelling at Mimi and then you ran so I followed you. Are you okay?" he asked stepping closer to me.

I stared at the sky, above the high buildings almost out of sight. "Yeah!" I told him though both of us knew that was a lie. Again he approached me, and again he grabbed my hands. I felt strange being like that with him. I mean, I didn't knew him that well.

Then, suddenly I had this feeling that I wanted to kiss him. We drew closer and our lips slightly touched, but in that moment the only person I thought about was Taichi. I quickly pulled apart and stared at the ground. What the hell was that? I was kissing a guy that I barely knew and thinking of Tai.

Kay looked at the ground too. "Sorry, I didn't mean to... to... force you... I'm sor..." "No, there's no need for that. We just made a mistake, that's all." I told him, but I didn't really believe that. We remained silent for a while. I think Kay was embarrassed as well. My head was confusing my feelings and I wasn't sure how I felt about Kay or Taichi anymore.

It was Kay who broke the silence when he noticed my hand bleeding. "Your hand is bleeding, Sor." I looked at it. The bandage was drenched in blood. "You need to change your bandage." He said.

"Don't worry, is nothing." I said, though I could see the bandage was really looking ugly. But Kay didn't buy it. He grabbed my other hand and pulled me. "Where are you taking me?" I asked, surprised by his movements.

"To my house, to treat your hand." Came his reply. I kicked myself mentally. I couldn't go to his house. We almost kissed in the alley. Who knows what could happen in the house. I didn't even want to think about it. But on the other hand, I really needed my bandage changed and I couldn't go home since I was missing classes. Thinking and reflecting through the way made me think that it was better for me to go. Besides if I went to school with my hand like that, people would certainly noticed it much more often and ask questions so I went with him.

Kay's house wasn't far from the alley where we were. It was a strange neighbourhood, nothing like mine and Taichi's, who lived in the building across mine. The walls had graffiti draws everywhere and there were a lot of vandalised stuff like the bus stop and benches.

He finally stopped in front of a building with the bricks showing. It seemed pretty old and the front door was wide open. Kay entered and I followed him. It was a four floors building and he lived in the third floor. He climbed up the stairs quickly until he reached the third floor. I followed him. He opened the door.

The house seemed almost abandoned. The dust seemed to be accumulating for years and there were spiderwebs in the ceiling. I felt pity for him. The room where we were was obviously the living room cause it had a yellow couch and a television.

We passed the living room and entered in Kay's room. It was completely a boy's room. It had posters spread all over the walls with bands and popular actresses. His single bed was placed against the wall so he had more room for his battery that laid in a corner next to the window.

Kay looked around and then at me. I could see his cheeks growing red. "I'm sorry for the mess." He replied. I laughed. He said that because he had never seen Taichi's room. It was a lot messier, kind of like his hair.

"You should see Tai's room." I said. Kay laughed and then disappeared through the door. I figured he had gone to pick a bandage. I allowed myself to sit on the bed. There was a strange smell in the air. I recognized it.

Kay came back right away with a scissor and a bandage. I was about to pick them to treat myself, but he picked my hand and started doing it himself. Once again I felt my cheeks burning. I turned away from his eyes, and tried to make a conversation.

"There's a strange smell in here. Is it what I think it is?" I asked, not really for being interested in it but to make conversation and try to take those confusing thoughts out of my head. Kay stopped and looked at me.

"Yeah! Why?" He eyed me suspiciously. "Nothing, just curious." I told him. He turned back to his job and after a while it was done. Then silence fell among us again. Finally I decided to break it. "Maybe I should go back to school." I replied, though I didn't want to go back. I would prefer to just stay there with Kay, but the silence was killing me.

For my surprise, Kay's eyes dropped. "Why did you run away anyway?" he asked me. I stood up and headed for the door. "Sorry, but I don't want to talk about it." I said, my back facing him. I heard him stepping closer and I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Shill out. Here." He said and handed me another one of those cigarettes.

I was about to handed it over, but Kay shook his head and pushed my hand to my chest in the meaning_ keep it_. "It won't harm you. It's just to make you feel happier." He said. I looked at him. Our eyes met. My heart started bumping again but the Taichi's image kept me safe. I kissed his cheek and left.

I was on my way to school when I bumped into someone I knew. "Hi Kari." I greeted the younger girl, but there was no happiness in my voice and I guess she noticed it, because she eyed me suspiciously. She was Taichi's sister and talking with her made me realize how much I missed talking with him.

"Are you going to school?" Hikari asked. I nodded and we both started walking towards the school. The youngster kept eyeing me with a strange look. What did I do wrong this time? Why does everyone looks at me like I'm some kind of freak? I finally got tired of the staring.

"What?" I asked, stopping. I was so tired of these games. "What's what?" Hikari replied. I shook my head. "Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" I asked. She didn't reply and stared at the ground. "Well, Mimi called me." She started, but I didn't even let her finish. "Oh, I see. Mimi called you, saying that I'm not myself lately and that I'm hanging around with the wrong guy." I said crossing my arms in front of my chest. The youngster looked at me surprised by my reaction. I could see it in her eyes.

"It's nothing like that Sora. Don't be mean." She said. I laughed. I had to gather my entire strenght to stop. "Mean?" I said, while trying to stop laughing. "You have never seen me being mean, ever. And when you do, you won't have the courage to come speaking to me again 'cause you'll probably think I'm completely crazy. So don't come talking to me about being mean, okay? You don't know the hell my life is. So just shut up." I said and started walking the opposite way. I think Hikari stared at me for a while but I guess she gave up and went to school. As for me, I went down the street back to Kay's neighbourhood.

I picked up the joint from my pocket and lighted it. The smoke entered my lungs and I immediately felt better with myself. It gave me such a pleasure smoking. At the time, I thought not even sex could be that good. It was an entire new world ready to discover and I had all my life to do it and nothing to lose.

I think I stayed there for almost three hours. My cigarette was gone a long time ago, but I was still feeling its effect on my numb body. And it felt so damn good. I wanted more. I wanted to feel like that always.

I looked at my watch and noticed I was late to go to my mother's flower shop to help her, but I didn't care. I stood and slowly walked home. I seemed to be stepping in a cold hard floor and my feet weighed like a thousand pounds.

I arrived to my mom's flower shop an hour later. She was mad as hell.

* * *

-- Hope you've liked it. I know you asked for less Kayora but Kay has an important role on this story as you may see, and he will appear more, especially because this is Sora's POV so I only tell you what she is thinking and doing, and because she is now entering the hell road of drugs she'll spend most of her time with Kay But don't worry, I'll try to turn it Taiora. Like I said she won't be with Kay at the end. I think you might expect some hot chapters coming. I'm sorry for the delay and for the short chapter. Thanks for reviewing.

PS: this chapter had been edited.


	6. 5 Touching You is More Than I Can Bare

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

* * *

No Wings To Fly

By

Marie Darkholme

**5. Touching You Is More Than I Can Bare**

I entered the shop. My mom was busy attending some customers but she glared at me, pissed off. I went to the back and changed into my work clothes, because I was still in school uniform. When I came back the costumer had left. My mom was up, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Where were you? I thought I've told you to come right after school, didn't I?" she shouted. "Yeah, but I had some things to do." I said, ignoring her glares. She stepped closer to me. "What are you implying, Takenouchi Sora? I told you to come and you should have come because I'm your mother and you must do what I tell you to." She said.

Enough was enough. I'm not a puppy that she can give orders for me to follow around blindly. I was about to answer, but something interrupted me. Another customer arrived. My mom quickly changed subject. Like she always said, the costumers don't need to be informed of our problems. She told me to go water the flowers and so I went. I didn't want a scene either, especially because the costumer was Taichi's mom.

I left to the back, and started watering the plants, but as I did, my mind flew away to other stops, like the things that had happened earlier that day. First the thing with Mimi, then Kay appearing from nowhere and that kiss. Oh God, what was happening to me? And all the time I couldn't stop thinking about Taichi. He was the reason for all my problems. Oh, and let's not forget the chat with Hikari. Man, why is everyone so worried about me? It was just a cigarette. Okay, maybe two, but no one needed to know about that one. Besides it was my fucking life. I think I can do what I want with it, can't I?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. My mother entered the back room with annoyance written all over her face. I was waiting for another scowling session but instead... "Sora, Takeru and Hikari are outside and they want to ask you something." She said, rage in her voice. I gave her a sick smile and went to the shop. I could hear her cursing. "Damn it. Does everyone has to step in when I'm ready to give that brat what she deserves?" I laughed quietly at myself.

At the shop, T.K. and Hikari were waiting for me. Hikari was watching the flowers and Takeru watched her delighted. I could see the glow in his eyes. I was envious of their happiness. I forced a cough so they would notice my presence. They looked at me and smiled. There were no stares this time.

"So, my mom told me you wanted to ask me something." I said. They both nodded, but didn't say anything. I gave them the _what_ look.

"Can we speak outside?" Hikari asked. I got suspicious. Speaking outside? What the hell did she want to speak with me? Was it some kind of top secret subject? I agreed. I was anxious to get out of there anyway.

We went outside, but I guess that wasn't enough for them because they kept walking until we reached the end of the street where it turned into a corner. I followed them, hands in my pockets, not really caring where they were taking me.

Finally, we stopped and they both turned around to look at me. They seemed like two synchronized robots. I laughed at my own thought and couldn't help noticing that after smoking that joint, I was really much happier than before. Kay was right. It did work.

Takeru and Hikari looked at me confused but they quickly turned back to what they wanted so badly to talk with me. "Look Sora." Takeru started, exchanging unsure looks with Hikari who encouraged him with a little push on his shirt's sleeve. "We asked you to come here because we wanted to talk to you about Kay."

I looked at the ground and sighed. Not again. Why does everyone keeps insisting that Kay is a bad guy? "What's the matter with you all? Kay is cool. Why do you keep telling me he's bad influence?" I shouted.

"But Sora, that's not true. My brother says he consumes drugs and he misses classes to hang around with his drugged friends." Takeru said. I shook my head. "No. He just smokes and smoking is not a crime or is it?"

"That depends in what kind of cigarette you smoke. What do you think he gave you at the party? Are you aware of the troubles you can get into with that?" Hikari said. I didn't want to listen anymore. They were lying. It was all a lie. Kay was good, he was my friend and he cared about me, and nothing else mattered.

"That was just once Hikari." I stated. But Hikari kept attacking. "But that's how it starts. With one. And then you want another and another and in no time you'll be addicted." "No. I won't because I'm strong. I'll overcome it." I said. Hikari was really annoyed. I could see it in her eyes. She released Takeru's arm that she was holding and pushed me against the wall, catching me out of guard. I winced as my ribs hit against the hard wall.

"You'll overcome it? You couldn't even accept the fact that my brother is dating another girl, or you're going to deny that too?" she shouted. That was the last drop. I didn't have and wouldn't take that from anyone, anyone. I pushed her so hard that if it wasn't for T.K. she would have fallen to the ground.

"I won't take this Kari. You have no right to talk to me like that, no one has. And if I'm sad for Tai dating another girl is because I love him, okay? But that doesn't mean I don't understand him. So don't come to speak to me like I'm some kind of brat that doesn't know what she's doing. And about Kay, as Tai has the right to be happy I have too. And if he doesn't love him like I love him, I have the right to be loved by someone else okay? And Kay likes me." I yelled at her and then ran into the shop again.

Tears started falling down my face. I could feel them. I was so angry. Angry at my mom, angry at Hikari and Takeru and especially angry at Taichi. It was his entire fault. I wiped the tears to the back of my hand and entered the shop. My mom was waiting for me.

"So, is the chat over?" she shouted. "Stop crying about nothing and start working, you lazy girl. Go wash the back room. I want to see it shining."

I did as she told me. I was too sad to argue about and in fact it wouldn't be worth the effort because the only thing I could get was another couple of slaps and going to bed without dinner, since lunch had passed already.

The day went without any more problems. Not as if the ones I had weren't already bad enough. I couldn't sleep at all and like the night before I stood up and logged on the internet where I spend the first hour of the morning, listening to Linkin Park.

In the morning I stood up and went to school before my mother woke up. I wanted to see Kay. I hoped he would be there because I didn't knew his schedule so I didn't knew if he had class in the morning, since he was a year older than me.

For my unhappiness, he wasn't there yet. I went to the secretary and asked for his schedule and for my happiness he had class that morning. I sat on a bench, anxiously waiting.

Suddenly I heard a noise from behind me. I turned hoping it was Kay, since he had the habit to snick on me. But it wasn't. My eyes dropped to the ground and my heart drowned as I saw Taichi entering the school. But, of course, he wasn't alone. Hikari, Takeru and Tsubane were with him. I tried to get out of there before they got the chance to see me but too late.

"Hey Sora." I heard the voice that had haunted my dreams since ever. Clear and beautiful but still strong and full of confidence. I cursed under my breath, my stupid thought of going sooner to school.

I sat on the bench again and waited for the devil to arrive. He was the first as always, trying to be the leader that everyone follows without complaining. The one that I would have made anything for. Tsubane was right behind. She smiled brightly at me. The girl was nice but I hated her for taking Taichi away from me.

She leaned to greet me but I stood and shook her hand. She looked a little confuse but she ended by shaking it also. "Hi Sora. I've heard a lot about you." She said. Yeah, I bet she heard, and it wasn't nice for sure. Next came Taichi. "Hey, I haven't seen you for ages. How's my best friend?" he asked and walked in my direction, his arms opened up to hug me. Hikari and Takeru followed him as they watched carefully my reaction. I could bet they had done it on purpose.

I didn't allow Tai to hug me. I pushed his arms down and sat again. He looked surprise at me and so did the others. I didn't care. I didn't want him to touch me, cause then I would suffer even more knowing I could be the one in his arms and not Tsubane.

"Yeah, long time." I said. He sighed and sat down next to me. I guess the girl sensed something wrong and went to meet T.K. and Hikari. We women have a sixth sense to this kind of stuff.

"Are you angry with me?" he asked. I looked at a flower with no particular interest, just trying to avoid his eyes. Of course I was angry at him, but he shouldn't have asked because I wouldn't be able to tell him the answer. "No, I'm not angry with you Tai." I said faking a smile. But it was so faked, so illusory that he noticed right away.

"Don't lie. I'm your best friend and I can tell if you angry or sad anytime." He told me and placed his hand on mine. There were times, when we were friends that I wouldn't mind him doing that, but not now. I retrieved my hand instantly and the soft rub of his hand on my bandaged one made him noticed it. He quickly grabbed it back.

"What is this?" he asked. "I cut myself accidentally." I replied, maybe too quickly. Taichi raised an eyebrow. "And you needed to bandage your entire hand? That must have been a hell of a cut." He eyed me suspicious. I avoided his gaze and took my hand back. It was enough. I could feel the unhappiness coming again. I wouldn't allow him to see me cry, not once, not ever.

"I've got to go." I said standing up. Then I ran into the school building. I could feel them staring after me. My eyes had betrayed me by crying without my knowledge allowing the love of my life to see one tear rolling down my cheek.

I run to the girl's bathroom, but I bumped into someone before I reached it. I was crying convulsively and my vision was blurred. I only recognized the person when I felt his hand on mine helping me up.

"What happened, Sor? Why are you crying?" Kay asked. I jumped to his arms, making him hit the opposite wall and cried even harder on his shoulder. He embraced me and caressed my hair and my back. I felt safe in his arms. I felt that someone loved me.

I stopped and looked into his green eyes. I felt his hands caressing softly my hair. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Our lips touched and he kissed me back aggressively.

Hi hands pulled me closer to him and I felt his chest beating against mine and his heart beating fast, like mine. I didn't want to pull apart. He turned and pulled me against the wall. Our bodies were so close that I almost felt his ribs in my body. I felt his tongue inside my mouth and I moaned.

We only broke apart for breathing.

* * *

-- So, did you like it. I know, less Kay more Tai, but I did put Tai into this one. And Kay, well, I know you mustn't have like this last part, but I needed him to comfort (and kill) Sora. Very sorry. Gomen. Review please and for those who review my every chapter like Kawaii-Q, thanks. ´ (she sends kisses to the crowd and cry of happiness)

PS: this chapter had been edited.


	7. 6 Going Under

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon nor none of its characters.

* * *

No Wings To Fly

By

Marie Darkholme

**6. Going Under**

Three weeks have passed since the incident with Sora and Taichi. I guess it wasn't such a good idea after all. I always thought that my brother would be able to deal with Sora, but she is too closed inside herself. I don't know what else to do.

Since that day, Sora only grew more apart from us. She started dating Kay. I never thought that could eventually happen, but it did. I remember clearly that day. It was after the incident.

--Flashback--

I was walking to school along with my brother, Takeru and Tsubane. I don't like her because she is always after my brother. She always manages to steal away what little time we have together. I would prefer so much more that Sora was with my brother. That would avoid so many problems.

Anyway, we were walking to school and the first thing we saw was Sora sitting on a bench under a sakura tree. I could see my brother smiling widely as he walked in her direction, but before he could get there, Kay appeared from apparently nowhere. I watched the scene along with Tsubane a little back, Taichi ahead of us, like always. He was holding a textbook and his bag was swung over his shoulder.

Sora stood up and went to meet kay. The next scene sort of shocked me since I had never imagined Sora could do that with a guy besides my brother. She embraced him and he hugged her, and they shared a kiss. But I guess it wasn't just the kiss, they seemed to be glued together. I could see Kay's arms squeezing Sora against him, and from a simple kiss, the moment went on to more complex stuff.

The next thing I heard was Taichi's textbook and bag hitting the ground when his arms dropped down in stupefaction. Tsubane watched him with an evil glare. She hadn't liked Taichi holding Sora's hands the day before and I guess she didn't like him to be shocked like that either.

--End of Flashback--

After that day, many things happened. Tsubane and my brother started having fights because Taichi was always trying to spy on Sora, and though he said it was to see if they weren't doing anything wrong, Tsubane started getting suspicious about something else and so did I. I guess my brother loved Sora after all, and he just didn't know that.

One week after the incident, Tsubane broke up with my brother slamming her house's door in his face. But that didn't seem to have affected my brother.

Then, about three days ago, something else happened. It was Mimi's birthday. She turned seventeen that day, but it was a day to forget.

--Flashback--  
Mimi had invited all her friends, and that included Sora, though she had been distant from us lately. But I think even Sora got surprised by her offer and so she went along with Kay. Mimi had invited him too, because he was Sora's boyfriend. Otherwise, like she said, he would never put his feet inside her house.

Everything was working as Mimi and I had planned. Yeah, we had planned everything. While Yamato and Takeru talked to Kay, or more like distracted Kay, Mimi and I would have a chat with Sora. That, however, didn't go as planned.

My brother was chatting with Jyou and Koushiro. He was the only one that didn't know about the plan. Sora ran out of the house crying. She was angry, very angry. Kay couldn't help noticing his girlfriend walking out and so he followed.

We don't really know what happened outside, but I do know that my brother went there to see if Sora was okay. At first it seemed like nothing bad had happened but then we heard Sora yelling at Taichi and when he got back inside, he had blood on his knukles but he wasn't bleeding.

He headed to the bathroom without a word, but since I'm his sister I could tell he went there to cry. My brother doesn't like other people seeing him cry. Mimi ran to Yamato's arms crying too because our plan hadn't worked out and had managed to make things even worst.

I was upset too, not only for my brother but for Sora too. I remembered the angry words she shouted at him. "It's my life and I do whatever I want with it, either you like it or not." I wondered what he had seen. Maybe she was smoking again, maybe something worst.

--End of Flashback--

My brother didn't tell me what happened that day. But since then, he has become so sad, so unhappy. I think after seeing her with another guy he really discovered that he loves her.

I remember when he talked about his and Sora's childhood. It seemed they only had good memories. He spends most of his classfree time seeing pictures of them. I feel so sorry for him, but Sora is with Kay now and she seems to want to forget my brother and Kay is doing a pretty good job. How, I don't know, but it mustn't be good.

* * *

I hope you've liked it so far. I think you got the part that this chapter was Hikari's POV. I needed someone to tell how Sora's friends were feeling and how Taichi was feeling and who's better than Hikari. I told you she would have an important role on this one.

PS: This chapter had been edited.


	8. 7 Falling

No Wings To Fly 7. Falling  
  
I laid in my bed. My mom had left in a date. I wondered who the stupid was, but I didn't really care, as long as my mom stood away for a while. My life had completely fall from miserable to unbearable.  
  
I guess I was fine and all, until three day ago at Mimi's birthday party. I didn't really know why she had invited me, cause I thought they weren't my friends anymore. But I was wrong, completely wrong. Mimi even said that I could bring Kay, since he was my boyfriend.  
  
---Flashback---  
I got ready that evening at my house. After yelling and blaming and cursing my mom had allowed me to go to Mimi's party. I dressed my crimson pants and top that Taichi loved and exited.  
  
Kay was coming later to meet me at Mimi's so I walked alone to her house. When I arrived the old gang was already there. Mimi and Hikari chatted in the kitchen while they made some kind of cake. The boys were sitting on the couch talking about football and sports. It was Tai that went to open the door.  
  
He had this faked smile when he received me. "Come in, Sora." I entered and went to greet the others. They all welcomed me warmly like nothing had ever happened between us. Mimi and Hikari came to greet me as well and we all sat on the couches. Mimi sat by Yamato's side in the same couch as Hikari, Takeru and Taichi. I sat along with Jyou and Koushiro in the other couch.  
  
It was like old times. For moments I forgot all about my problems and divergences with Taichi. Koushiro approached me and whispered into my ear. "You were right." For instants, I wondered what he would be talking about but then I remembered my advice at the Matt's party the day I started hanging around with Kay. I smiled and we continued chatting.  
  
It was almost nine in the night when we heard the door bell ring. Mimi went to open it. I could see her smile fade as she allowed Kay in. He came to me and embraced me in his arms then he kissed me. I accepted it gratefully and kissed back. Though I had my eyes closed I could feel my friends face turn away with disgust and unhappiness. I knew none of them liked Kay. In fact, he was only at the Ice Wolfs replacing an injured member.  
  
We broke apart and in that moment Mimi and Hikari grabbed my hand and pushed me away to Mimi's room. "What?" I asked annoyed. "Girls chat time." They said. I smiled. I still remembered our girls talk, when Mimi told us about her latest crush and Hikari described her meet with T.K.  
  
We entered the room that was still the same as it was when I last have been there. Pink every where. She had pink curtains, pink blankets, pink sheets and even her lamp-shade was pink.  
  
We sat on her bed. "So lets girls talk." I said. They eyed me in a way that I found suspicious of their intentions on girl talking. "We wanted to tell you something that happened after you became Kay's girlfriend." Hikari said. I quickly stood up and headed to the door, but the two girls grabbed me and pulled me into the bed.  
  
"Listen to us Sora, just this time." Mimi said. I agreed. I sat back and they released my arms. Mimi launched a look to Hikari and she started talking. She went right to the only subject I didn't want to discuss about, Taichi. But because I had promise, I heard them.  
  
"Look Sora. I know my brother hurt your feelings but he didn't know you loved him. He didn't even know he loved you." Hikari said. I put my hands over my ears as tears threatened to roll down my face. Mimi grabbed my hands and pulled them off, making me hear. "He loves you Sora."  
  
I couldn't hear anymore lies. I couldn't bare anymore the pain that loving Tai caused me. Yes I still loved him. I thought that dating Kay and having him would make me forget Taichi, but it didn't. It only made it worst, cause every time I'm with him, I wished he was Tai and every time he kisses me, I wished it was Tai's lips touching mines.  
  
I ran out off the door not managing to old my tears that rolled freely down my cheeks. I ran out of her house and sat down under a tree. Next second Kay was already by my side. He embraced me. "What is it, Sor? What did they say to you?" he asked, but I was to busy crying to answer. I sobbed uncontrolled for several minutes, until he decided to stop me with a kiss.  
  
I pushed him and he stopped. I think he didn't get mad, cause then he gave another of those cursed cigarettes. I still remembered the last time and how well I had felt. I lighted on and we both started smoking.  
  
It was like the smell had attracted, cause after a few seconds Taichi was coming towards us. He stood in front of us. Kay looked up to face his angry face. Yeah he was angry alright. I didn't know why but he was angry.  
  
Kay stood too, followed by me. "What are you doing Sora?" Taichi asked. I didn't quite understand his question. What was I doing? I think it was pretty obvious cause I never hid it from them.  
  
"What do you want Tai?" I asked him. He glared at me. "What do you think? Are you completely blind? Can't you see what he is doing to you?" he shouted. I didn't reply. Yeah, I knew. Kay was making me fell loved. Was giving me the opportunity to stop the pain inside of me and healing my wounds. The wounds that he had caused.  
  
"Yeah, I know what he is doing. He's making me feel a woman that is loved." I said. Taichi laughed. "A woman? Loved? Don't play with me Sora. He's guiding you straight to the road of hell. In no time you'll be as many stealing and cheating to have money to your addiction." Tears rolled down my face again. I could he say that. I was not a drugged. Kay interfered.  
  
"How can you those things? Sora is not a drugged." He said. The next thing I know, Kay was lying on the floor with his nose bleeding. I looked stupefied at Taichi. "Leave him Sora." Taichi said. "He's no good. You deserve better guy." Yeah, I deserved, but the guy I wanted didn't love me and was hitting my boyfriend.  
  
"It's my life and I do whatever I want with it ever you like it or not." I yelled at him. He turned away and entered Mimi's again. ---End of Flashback---  
  
Now, laying in my bed, thinking, and the tears returned to haunted my existence. Could it be truth that Taichi loved me? Could it be truth? No, it was too good to be truth. I sat and picked my bag. Inside it were a few cigarettes and a box of matches. I retrieved one and lighted.  
  
I remembered my first kiss. It was the sweet kiss I had ever shared with someone.  
  
I took a breath and released the smoke in the air. He went up and faded in the ceiling just as my memories of that true moment of happiness. Taichi and I were twelve at the time but I had already a crush on him.  
  
---Flashback---  
  
It was the end of the school year and our class was going to present a role play. Taichi and I were the main characters. The story was about a prince that had searched for a long time for a fiancé, but he never found the right woman. One day, a princess came to knock on his door. She was all wet and she and her servants had had a crash.  
  
The prince welcomed her. She was the prettier princess he had ever seen and he fell for her that same tragic night, but his mom was too proud to let her son marry a girl that wasn't a true princess and so she said to him. "If she gets through my test, you can marry her."  
  
And so the old queen, told her servants to make a bed with twenty mattresses of goose's feathers and under them all she put one single pea. During the night the princess couldn't sleep dewing to the pea. Only a true princess could feel a pea under twenty goose's feathers mattresses. And in the end the princess married the prince.  
  
I played the princess and Taichi was the prince. At the end it was suppose for Taichi to kiss me, but only slightly in my lips, as the proof of his true love for me.  
  
Taichi leaned to kiss me and as our lips met, I felt like I was going to pass out. It was suppose to be for only a moment but Taichi grabbed my waist and kissed me more passionately.  
  
That was my first kiss. As we pulled apart, Taichi's cheeks went more crimson then my eyes. But he didn't say sorry or he seemed to regret the kiss.  
  
---End of Flashback---  
  
In that moment I thought he truly felt the same as I, but I was so wrong. Tears felt down my cheeks and I sobbed quietly in my bed.  
  
I was interrupted by the sound of the door slamming. My mother entered the house. She yelled like she was discussing with anyone and cursed. I guessed her date hadn't gone as well as I expected. I quickly wiped my tears. The last I wanted was that she saw me crying.  
  
After a few minutes she entered my bedroom. "What are you doing?" she yelled. I didn't understand what she was talking about so I gave her a confused look. She slapped me for no reason. My anger rose to my head and filled my veins. I couldn't stand that anymore. After slapping me she might have felt better cause she went to the living room.  
  
I went to my closet and started packing. After a few minutes, I had all my clothes in a suitcase. Then I started packing my other stuff, like my school books, my incense burner and my diary.  
  
It took me and hour to pack my stuff and then I put my bags on my back and picked my suitcase. I left my room and went straight to the door. My mom was sitting in the living room seeing a movie and drinking a beer. I opened the door.  
  
"What are you doing bitch?" My mom asked as she stood up and headed in my direction. "I'm leaving."  
  
She laughed. I could smell her alcoholic breath even at the distance that we were. "You can't leave. I'm your mother and you have to obey me." She said. Her voice showed sarcasm but I think I saw frustration and worrying in her eyes. But it didn't matter cause I was leaving.  
  
"Yes, I can. I'm eighteen. I'm officially free from you." I said. My mother didn't spoke. She just watched as I went down stairs. I could hear her laugh and then the door slamming again.  
  
I stepped outside to cold night. I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go to Mimi's because her parents wouldn't allow me to stay there. Yamato and Takeru were out of question. I didn't want to be in the middle of a broken family. Koushiro's parents were kind but they wouldn't agree with my leaving and would encourage me to return. There was only Jyou left, but he was out of town since Mimi's birthday to make an exam in Tokyo.  
  
I started walking and finally stopped in an old neighbourhood. The building had his bricks showing and graffiti all over the walls. I rang the door and a young man answered me.  
  
"Who is it?" Kay asked. "It's Sora." I replied. He opened the door and I stepped the stairs to his apartment. He was at the door. I could see surprise stamped in the nineteen years old boy. "What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
I put my bags on the ground. "I left my house."  
  
------------------  
So, did you liked it? I know I always ask the same, but that's because I really want to know so don't forget to review. I know that everyone would like to see more Taiora. Yeah me too, but it this is not planned. It just happens, but I did manage to put some past Taiora. Hope you've liked it. Oh, and cause Tai is really starting to understand his feelings towards Sora, well we'll see. Thanks to all my reviewers. 


	9. 8 Loosing My Sweetness

8. Loosing my sweetness  
  
"You left?" he repeated as he hadn't heard well. "Yeah." I replied. He looked at me and then to my bags. "I was wondering if I could live here with you." I asked. I could see his eyes narrowing the all place.  
  
He walked towards me and picked one of my bags. "Yeah, sure. Come in."  
  
I walked in with the rest of my bags. Kay put down the bags and told me to sat by his side on the couch. "So, what happened?" he asked. His eyes watched mines with curiosity. "My mom started yelling without reason and slapped me so I left." I sighed. "I couldn't stand it anymore. I'm sorry Kay, but I had no place to go."  
  
"No, it's alright." He smiled. "You're my girl. I'll help you. But what about school?" he asked. I had all planned. "I'll go to school in the day, and at night I'll work to help you with the expenses."  
  
Kay grinned. "You had it all planned." He kissed me. I smiled. Yeah, I've been planning to leave home for quite a while but I never had the guts. This time I had finally managed to get my plan on going.  
  
"There's only a problem." Kay said with a serious look. My throat dried. A problem? What could it be? I had all planned. "Do you prefer to sleep on the bed or the couch?" he said with a mischievous laugh. I punched him on the shoulder for making me worrying over nothing.  
  
"I'll sleep on the couch." I said. Then I started unpacking my stuffs and making the bed. Kay was such a nice guy. I couldn't get why Taichi and the others didn't like him.  
  
He lived alone in that house for almost two years since his parents died. Since he had already eighteen when they died he could live alone. But the place was a trash. He didn't clean anything. I didn't really know a man that cleaned up his place.  
  
I spend the rest of the night, staring at the ceiling of my new home and listening Kay breathing heavily as he slept.  
  
I woke up the next morning with the light entering the living room into my closed eyes. I stood up and looked around. At first I got scared cause I didn't remember where I was, but I quickly regained my memory. The first thing I did was to clean up.  
  
I started with the kitchen and then headed to the living room. When Kay woke up, I was already doing breakfast. I thought he too got surprised when he saw me there, but he too quickly remembered the events of the previous evening.  
  
"Good morning." He said as he stretched his arms in a cat's way. I smiled as I noticed he was only wearing a pair of boxers. He was a pretty athletic guy, just like Taichi. I kicked myself mentally for thinking of Tai when I looked at my boyfriend.  
  
"Good morning." I replied. He too smiled looking at me. I was wearing a dark blue night shirt. I didn't care about his staring. In fact I liked it. It made me feel appreciated. I watched as Kay looked around his place to find no spiders' webs and a clean place.  
  
"You've been busy." He said approaching me. "What're you cooking?" I smiled and turned to meet his lips on a morning kiss. In that moment I thought that I could get used to that live. Pretty it wasn't with the man of my dreams. Once again I kicked myself mentally. `Stop thinking about him.´  
  
"Sweet." Kay said as he tasted my pancakes. After eating and cleaning the plates, we both got dressed, he in his room and me in the living room. Then we both headed to school.  
  
I guess I was kind of expecting Mimi's reaction when she came to me that morning. I didn't know how the hell she found out about my running away. I doubted it had been my mom, but she knew. She and the entire gang.  
  
"Sora. Oh, are you okay? I was so worried. I phoned you last night and your mother said you had left home." She said as she hugged me tightly. Kay had gone to his class, and as soon as he was out of sight Mimi came to me.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay." I said kind of annoyed. In no time the rest of the group was gathered around me except for Jyou and Taichi.  
  
"Where did you go?" "You're not living under a bridge are you?" "Why didn't you come to us?" The questions fluted in the air waiting for an answer that I was not ready to tell.  
  
"She went to Kay's." a voice said behind the group that surrounded me. I would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Taichi's. He was behind Yamato. He walked toward me. I how the hell did he know where I had gone, it was a complete mystery to me.  
  
"I'm right, am I not, Sora?" he asked. I could see his darkened face mirroring my own. His voice hid the sadness with sarcasm and heroism. His appearance hiding the feelings that I didn't know by then. The feelings that he kept hidden from me, never to show.  
  
I avoid his gaze and looked to Mimi instead, but she had no welcome face either. "Is it true?" she asked half whispering. I simply nodded. Her eyes felt to the ground. I could see Hikari's disappointment and pain. "You could have come to me." She said.  
  
The air got tense, but fortunately the bell rang and the group dismissed to class. Unfortunately, Taichi and Yamato were in the same class as me, so I wouldn't be able to avoid them.  
  
Though my back was turned on them I could feel their gazes. I tried to ignore but I couldn't. During the entire class, I couldn't concentrate.  
  
The bell rang and we all got out of the class. I tried to escape from my friend's sad and angry gazes but I couldn't. Suddenly I felt a hand over my mouth and someone pulled me to a hidden spot on my school.  
  
I tried to yell but it was impossible. Who could possible be trying to kidnap me? But it wasn't a kidnapping. I was pushed against the wall and the mouth that covered my mouth released. I opened my eyes to meet the eyes that for so long I melted inside.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted at him. He covered my mouth again. I tried to get lose from his arms but I couldn't. Taichi was too strong.  
  
"Shut up!" he said, pushing me against the wall again. "I just wanna talk. Don't yell okay?" I nodded and he retrieved his hand from my mouth.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked. Taichi sighed. "Did you do it only for worrying me? For revenge, Sora?!" For worrying him? He must think he's important. No I hadn't done it for worrying him, but yeah, he was important to me.  
  
"Tell me Sor? Was it?" he asked again. "Of course not." I answered avoiding his eyes. "Then why?" "Because my mother is a bitch." I replied. He shook his head. "Then why didn't you go to Mimi's or Takeru's? Why him?" he asked. In some strange way, I liked that worrying of him. "What do you have to do with my life?" I yelled. "You never cared until now. I thought you were my best friend, but you only cared about yourself."  
  
He looked hurt at me. But it was the truth. Why was he carrying now, why? "Why Tai? Why?" I looked into his eyes. Tears started rolling down my face. "Because... because...I,I.." he started but I didn't want to hear anything more.  
  
------ I'm sorry for the short chapter. I might say this is coming to and end. I bet you know what Tai was about to say, but he couldn't finish cause Sora left. DarkMetalAngel Of Destruction – I'm sorry if you don't like my story. Like I said when I wrote the first chapter, this is meant to be Taiora even if it doesn't seems. Anyway, I think you'll enjoy the next chapters. Kawaii-Q – thanks for reviewing my every chapters. I'm glad you enjoy my nasty fan fic. KaguyaEvenstar – I'll try, okay? Dorkiss – you're right. Kay is a bad boy. Making Sora smoke? =O( But don't worry is going to pay. 


	10. 9 Weakness

9. Weakness  
  
A month went by since Taichi caught me that school morning. I kept with Kay, but things weren't going so well now. I didn't really wanted to admit it, but since that day my feelings for Tai only grew stronger and the ones I had for Kay, if they had ever existed, had fade away.  
  
School was over and I had found a job in a cafe for the summer vacations. I worked there at day and at night I worked in a bar. It was a decent bar, with a disco, nothing like prostitution or something like that.  
  
I hadn't heard from my mom, since the day I left and I was kind of worried, though Mimi had told me that she was fine, but sad after I left. I didn't believe it. My mom would never miss me.  
  
It was a summer night and like the other nights I got ready to go to work. I dressed my outfit, a pair of black pants and a yellow top with the logotype of the bar. I was ready to leave when the door opened and Kay entered.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked. He smelled really bad like he had been drinking or something. That was one of the things that I had found out about him that I didn't like it. He drank and it wasn't few.  
  
I ignored his questions and picked one of my cigarettes, one of the things that I got addicted to. I started smoking. "To work, where else?" I said. He glared at me. His eyes were strangely red. He slammed the door closed and headed towards me. Unfortunately I couldn't guess what was coming next, because if I did, I had got my ass the hell out of there.  
  
Though he was completely drunk he still was stronger than me. He grabbed my writs and pulled me to his room. "You're not going anywhere?" he said. His voice had changed from the sweet and playful melody that I knew to an angry and mad yell.  
  
"But Kay, I can't." I said. But too late. He locked his room door. Then he went to his drawer and picked something. I couldn't see what it was, because he had his back on me, but I could almost guess it.  
  
"Kay, please don't." I said. He turned to me. He had a syringe on his hand and I knew what he was going to do. In a few seconds my mind drifted to two weeks ago.  
  
---Flashback---  
"What is that?" I asked as I saw Kay warming something. He didn't pay attention to me. His eyes were fixed on the spoon where a liquid bubbled. He smirked. Then he picked a syringe from his drawer and put the contend of the spoon inside it.  
  
In that moment I knew what it was. Cocaine. It was a wild guess, but according to the many movies I had seen it could only be. He smiled again and turned to me. "Wanna try?"  
  
I shook my head. Hell no, and get addicted. I knew the danger and I wasn't ready to waste my life like that. "Then try this." E said and threw me a small package with pills. Right them I didn't know what that was, but I found out once I ingested one that night.  
  
I can't quite remember what happened next. I just know that I lost all the sense of reality. Life was beautiful and nothing besides me mattered. The effect was even more real than with the joint, but the consequences were too.  
  
I remember perfectly of wake up the next morning. It was the most painful wake up ever. I looked around me. Lamps on the floor, broken glass everywhere and clothes. Yeah, clothes. I tried my best to remember the last events but my head hurt like hell, like I had drank, and in fact I had. I was on my underwear only. I stood up and fell. I couldn't stand up. I crawled to Kay's room. He was wearing only his boxers and was lying on the floor.  
  
For seconds I feared the worst but he was alive. I crawled to him and shook him. He moaned and opened his eyes. His room was a mess too. "What happened?" I asked as I lied next to him.  
  
He smirked. "You gave a party in here, Sor?" he asked. I launched him a confused look. "Well, I guess, ecstasy is not a thing that I should give you." He laughed. I let my head drop on the floor.  
  
Only one thing was worrying me. "Did we..., you know, had...?" I coughed. Kay laughed a little more. "Not that I remember." He said. I looked at him. "Calm down. Look at the evidences. You're in you underwear, so am I, and you woke up in the living room. I think if we had had sex, we would be together, naked. Don't you think?"  
  
Yeah, it made sense. I sighed. Once again I tried to stand up but I couldn't and I fell. Kay was not as bad as I was. He quickly sat and grabbed me before I hit the floor. He glared at me and smirked. "I had never seen you in underwear."  
  
---End of Flashback---  
  
I swore to myself that that had been the only time in my life that I had consumed a drug. But it wasn't that easy. I liked the sensation and in a few days I did it again. Then it was just a vicious circle. At least, I was only consuming ecstasy, but Kay, he had passed to heavier drugs like cocaine and hashish.  
  
That was a day that I wanted to forget but that kept in my mind. It was the day that I really got my addiction to drugs.  
  
I was brought back to the present by the touch of Kay's hand. He had this maniac smile. He pushed me into the bed and grabbed my arm. I tried to fight back, but he was too strong.  
  
I had fought against my will to drug myself for a few days now, but Kay couldn't fight against it. I think he got mad because I could resist and he couldn't. Besides, he could be some kind of revenge.  
  
I got really grumpy and aggressive when I was without drug myself and once I hit him with a lamp.  
  
---Flashback---  
  
I was lied down on the couch. I was shaking from the abstention of ecstasy. Kay approached me from behind with the fucked drug. "Come on Sora. Don't do this. It's worst if you don't take it." He said.  
  
I hit his hand making the pills fly to the other corner of the room. Kay sighed. He sat by my side. I was wearing shorts and a short top. It was hot like hell, but I was cold, very cold. I remember that quite well.  
  
Kay put his hand on my leg, under the blanket that covered my cold body. I could feel it pretty well, cause to me his hands were burning like fire. In an attempt to warm my self up, I hugged him. But I guess I did it wrong and made him take wrong conclusions about my act.  
  
He kissed me. His lips burning and melting the cube of ice that I felt. I kissed back, still trying to get warmer. I felt his hands come from my legs up. He touched me and put his hands under my shirt. I stopped.  
  
"Kay, don't do that." I said. He pushed me into the sofa and started kissing me again. We started making out on the couch. But I guess that wasn't enough for him. I guess he wanted something that I didn't feel ready to do.  
  
He put his hands under my shirt and started pulling it off. "Kay, stop." I said louder. But he didn't so I just grabbed the nearest thing and it him on the head.  
  
---End of Flashback---  
  
I was going to dye, I knew it. He had filled the damn thing with heroin for sure, because ecstasy is not used in syringe. I started shaking. I had only tried heroin once and I had stopped. Besides I heard it was dangerous to mix ecstasy and heroin together.  
  
"Stop it Sora." Kay yelled trying to grab my arm. "After you try this, you won't want anything else." He smirked.  
  
"Kay, please don't do it." I cried. He stick the syringe in my arm. I could feel the fluid running in my veins. I felt defeated on his bed, holding my arm. Kay sat too watching. Though my vision was getting blurred, I could see Kay's eyes and he was crying.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sor. But you gave me no chance." He said. "I did... n't... do... any...thing." I managed to say. He laughed and approached me. I shot my eyes close, afraid of what he was going to do with me. I felt his body over mine. I opened my eyes to see his own staring at me, right over my head.  
  
"Do you know what you said that night, Sor?" he started. I shook my head. What night was he talking about? "The night you hit me with the lamp? I guess not, because after that you couldn't stand the anxiety anymore and grabbed the pills I had given you. That night you got more decontrolled then ever." He continued. I could only watch. "Well, I guess it was a bigger dose than the usual. I sat on the couch, with my head hurting and the will to kill you, but I couldn't cause I loved you. After an half hour you came back. You were too excited and started talking about nonsense's things. You started talking about Taichi."  
  
In that moment I could feel what was coming next. Mixed pieces started appearing in my puzzled mind about what happened that night. I could see pain in Kay's eyes.  
  
"I asked you... how you felt about him. And you said you love him, Sor. You said you love him. You broke my heart, Sor." He bent and kissed my lips. I started feeling weird all the sudden. My head seemed ready to explode.  
  
"But now, you'll never leave me. Not if we have something to connect us. I'm sorry, Sor. I didn't want it to be this way." He started unbutton my pants. I could feel his hands on my waist and the cold breeze whispering in my legs. I wanted to get out of there, to yell for help, but I couldn't.  
  
My eyes were closed. I felt Kay's lips kissing me. "It doesn't have to be this way." He said. I could feel my body temperature decreasing. I felt cold. The last thing I remember was Kay's voice. "Are you okay? Sor?" Then all went black.  
  
-----------  
  
I'm sorry for not putting Taiora on this one palls. Well it goes like this. I needed Sora to realise what a jerk Kay was after all, so I thought: why not Kay trying to rape Sora, she would definitely not want anything more with him. But how? Sora was too strong for him to do it without she being drugged. So I drugged her. Oh, and don't worry. He didn't manage to, you know, really have sex with her.  
  
Other thing. I don't know about the effects of ecstasy in abstention so I made it up. I tried to investigate but I didn't find any conclusive things. But I do know that ecstasy makes people very happy while under his effect and hyperactive. They talk a lot and if you ask them questions they were certainly tell the truth.  
  
So, I'm sorry for doing this to Sora but it was needed. About what happened to her, you'll see in the next chapter. Kisses. ^_^  
  
Oh, almost forgot. About the rape, there are a lot of women that made sex under ecstasy effect and don't remember so be careful. Ecstasy decreases men's sexual appetite and put them momentarily impotent, but that doesn't happens to women, okay? I guess it's all. Be careful it comes with all kinds of colours and he can be mixed with a drink, you won't notice it. 


	11. 10 Still Dreaming

10. Still Dreaming  
  
I was sitting on a bench. It was a bright sunny day. I was waiting. I didn't know for who, but I was waiting. The birds were singing in the trees and cats and dogs passed by me running happy. Everything in that moment gave me a freedom sensation and happiness unimaginable.  
  
And I just sat there. The sun made his way through the skies till it was sun setting. I watched with a smile on my face as his flames reflected in the ocean. It was all so quite. For moments I just wanted to be there for all eternity.  
  
I could feel the sweet ocean breeze caressing my face and my hair waving to its sound. I was alone but I was happy. I was very happy. Until the last flames disappeared from the horizon. Then my spirit became darker. The birds stop singing. There was a death silence. The happiness faded away as the darkness covered my heart, body and soul.  
  
But I kept waiting. I waited and waited and waited. I waited for what it seemed eternities. Then a sound from behind me made me look. There was a person there. It was covered by the shadows. My heart started beating fast. Un fearless I stood up and walked towards the person.  
  
The sky suddenly became lighter. I look above me and saw the moon. The queen of the night had returned to light my way. I turned my attention to the stranger again. I could see his shape. It was a boy. As the moon made her way to the top of the sky his features became more visible.  
  
I could see his eyes. His chocolate brown eyes. There was no pain on them only worrying. There was no rage or anger, only compassion and understanding.  
  
I took a step forward but he kept still. The moon was in her top now, but I couldn't see him totally. Only his eyes. But I wanted to see him. It was for him that I was waiting. For his love that he was ready to give me that moment.  
  
I started running but though he didn't move I could never reach him. I yelled his name but still couldn't reach him. I kept running and running until I tripped and fell to the ground. His eyes kept his feelings and started to cry.  
  
I stood up and ran again. I didn't want him to cry. I didn't want him to be sad. It was my entire fault, all my fault. Then he disappeared. The moon and the ocean disappeared and left me in the emptiness and darkness. Then I started falling. I can remember quite well the feeling of fall, fall eternally. Fall into the deepest darkness and loneliness.  
  
I opened my eyes. Was that a dream? I could see two bright points but nothing else. Have died and go to heaven? No, that was impossible after all my sins. My vision started clearing and I could distinguish a lamp above me. I closed and opened my eyes to see better. It looked like an hospital. Yeah, it was an hospital.  
  
I tried to sit but I couldn't. In fact I could hardly move, not that I couldn't, but I was restrained. My hands were tied to the bed as my feet. I lifted my head slightly so I could see. There was someone sitting on a chair next to the window. It was dark outside.  
  
"Taichi?!" I murmured. My voice came all weird, hoarse. He lifted his eyes from the magazine he was reading. He looked at me and a smile was sketched in his face.  
  
"You're awake." He said. He stood up and put down the magazine. He approached my bed and sat. "Do you feel better?" he said. Better? Well that depends of what he calls better since I was tied to the bed like I was crazy or something.  
  
"I'm going to call the doctors to come and see you." He exited the room living me alone with my thoughts. I'd been dreaming. I tried to remember how the hell I had been going there. But I couldn't.  
  
I was interrupted as a doctor entered the room. It was a blond woman. "Are you feeling better now Sora?" she asked. There was no hint of feelings in her voice, just deep professionalism. I could even dare to say that she hated me and all the persons like me. You know, people who drug themselves. Taichi was right behind her, but there was someone with him. Mimi. The pink girl was here too. I wished they weren't. I didn't want my friends to see me like that.  
  
"Why am I tied up?" I asked. The doctor looked at Taichi and then again to me. "You were very aggressive and tried to hit you're friends and some nurses so we tied you." She replied. Only then I noticed a major wound on Taichi's forehead along with some bruises on his arms.  
  
"But I see you're better now, so I'll give permission to your friends to untied you." She said still with the same rough tone. Then she left. Taichi and Mimi started untying me. When they were finish I sat on the bed. I didn't know what to say or what to do.  
  
"Sorry." I finally replied to Taichi. He smiled and shook his head. Mimi was on the other side of the bed. I looked at her. Her eyes were red. Once again I tried to remember what had happened. But I couldn't. I couldn't remember beating Taichi and the doctors and I couldn't remember how I get there.  
  
"How... how did I... get here?" I asked. My friends changed sad looks and then Mimi left crying. "I'm sorry but I can't remember anything." I said.  
  
"No, it's okay." Taichi said. His voice made me tremble. I felt like I hadn't heard his voice since ever. "You got an overdose and... Kay ...brought you here."  
  
My head started searching. I remembered a door slamming and Kay completely drunk picking something in his drawer.  
  
"But, I don't remember beating you. How long have I been here?" I asked. Taichi sighed. I wanted to cry. He seemed so sad and distant. It was just like my dream. "You've been here for almost a week. You woke up several times but you kept beating everyone up so they tied you and gave you an anaesthetic."  
  
I heard it all, but I couldn't believe. A week? And I couldn't remember. Damn it. Somehow I knew I hadn't drug myself. I wanted to ask questions but his voice, his sad, empty voice. I couldn't bear hearing it again.  
  
"Are you angry, Tai?" I mumbled. He sighed again. Yeah, deep inside he was furious with me. I knew it. "No, of course not, Sor. It's just that..." Sor? My mind drifted again. "But now, you'll never leave me. Not if we have something to connect us. I'm sorry, Sor. I didn't want it to be this way." I remembered Kay's voice saying those words.  
  
Taichi kept there for a while but he didn't reply my question. I knew he was angry. He was furious. I wanted to dye in that moment. I'll had done anything to see him happy again. Anything.  
  
Later that evening, Taichi went home, and so did Mimi. I was left alone in the hospital bed, just like in my dream. I tried to sleep but I couldn't so I asked a nurse to give me a pill. After two hours I felt asleep. A quite sleep without nightmares.  
  
The next day all the gang came to visit me. Hikari was the first followed by Takeru. They had happy faces and were always planning things that we could do after I got out of the hospital. "You can go for a huge ice-cream and to a fun park..." Hikari said. "Just don't leave us, okay?".  
  
I had a lot of fun with Koushiro and Jyou that came after Hikari. Jyou held a book and Koushiro had his computer. He started showing me things he had found on the internet. As for Jyou he sat by my side with the funniest face ever talking about a book he had read. None of them talked about my life or my mistakes and I guess that that helped me a lot.  
  
Then Mimi, Yamato and Taichi came to visit me. Mimi was obviously much better now, but I still could see her red worried eyes. They looked at me like I was going to jump to them like a crazy person or starting to cut myself. They chose their words while talking to me and that was really starting to annoy me. Only Taichi remained silent. His eyes staring blankly at somewhere.  
  
I still couldn't remember quite what had happened and every time I tried, I had a huge head ache. Then someone knocked on the door. Taichi went to open it. A boy came in, a boy with green eyes, Kay. Something in my spirit told me to get him away from me.  
  
As he stepped towards the bed, I started shaking; my entire body started shaking without an apparent reason. Mimi and the others headed for the door, but I managed to grab Taichi's arm before he got out of reach. Mimi and Yamato exited, leaving me, Kay and Taichi.  
  
The green eyed approach and sat on the bed. "I leave you two alone." Taichi said without a feeling in his voice. "No." I replied and push his arm making him sit in the chair next to the bed. He eyed me with a confused look, but not Kay. He obviously knew something that I couldn't remember.  
  
Kay leaned on me to kiss me but I turned. He sat again. My body was covered by the blanket, but in a feeling of protection, I pulled it closer to me, gathering my knees to my chest and covering me, till only my head and fingers were visible.  
  
Taichi eyed me still in confusion. Once again I tried to remember what my mind was blocking away from me. But I couldn't and that was really driving me crazy. I was so afraid of Kay and I didn't know why. I knew he was my boyfriend but why was I afraid of him?  
  
"I'm sorry, Sor." Kay said and he put his hand on my knees. Suddenly my mind raced. It was like watching parts of movies. "I'm sorry, Sor. But you gave me no chance. Do you know what you said that night, Sor?" "Kay, please don't."  
  
All came into my mind. All that I had forgot about. That cursed night that I wished it had never happened. I shook his hand off of my knees and tried to get as far as possible from him. "Get away?!" I said. I think the suddenness of my memory return made me kind of crazy in that moment. I started screaming for him to get away, and to get is hands off of me.  
  
But he didn't leave. I started crying. That was when Taichi acknowledged that something was wrong. He went to Kay and asked him to leave. They stared at each other for a while. I could see hate sparking out of both those eyes. They hated each other, and it was because of me, it was my entire fault.  
  
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Liked it? Hope so. Sorry I had taken a bit longer than usual. Once again I warn you that this is almost over, and I don't think I'm going to put a happy ending. I guess more two chapters will do.  
  
Thanks for reviewing. OH, and Kawaii-Q, yes I'm going to make that suicide part. Was the way it started, is going to be the way it will finish. But I'm open to suggestions. 


	12. 11 Empty Eyes, Empty Soul

11 Empty Eyes, Empty Soul  
  
Taichi stared blankly at me with those inquisitor eyes. "What happened?" he asked. I turn to meet the ground. No, I wasn't going to tell him. It was too painful and I didn't want him to know, that was the truth. I didn't want him to know. It was enough that I had to suffer with that, he didn't need to worry.  
  
He sat by my side. "Tell me Sora." He demanded. But my will was too strong even for him. I looked into his eyes. We did not need words to tell how we felt to each other; after all we had been friends for ages, even if that friendship had grown apart.  
  
My eyes said all that he needed to know. They said that the boy in who I had trusted had betrayed me in the cruelest way. They show how much and deep he had hurt me. They reflected the impossibility of me to get near him ever again. I wanted Kay to go dye far away from me.  
  
"What did he do to you?" Taichi asked but even he knew that was a secret that I would reveal. He sighed defeated.  
  
Days rushed in like the winter breeze. After a week it was given me permission to leave the hospital. My mom had come to visit me sometimes and she asked me to come home. I accepted. I didn't have anywhere else to go anyway. Taichi visited me several times too, but we just remained looking at each other in silence. A death silence that I could bare anymore. It was just like a cliff had born between the two of us and none could get through it.  
  
Mimi and Yamato as well as Takeru, Hikari and Koushiro had come to visit me too. Jyou was in a summer course in Hong Kong so he couldn't come. I felt so supported by my friends, but still the happiness had been completely stolen from me.  
  
I could no longer remember the days when I showed a true smile filled with true happiness. I could no longer remember a day in which my will to live could face any danger. When I lied in my bed, sometimes, I wished I had died with overdose.  
  
The school days were mostly spent with Mimi, Yamato and Taichi, though we spend most of the time looking at the ceiling, well except for Mimi and Yamato that ate each other during lunch time and class' breaks.  
  
Unfortunately Kay was in the same school as we and I had to see him around the school. I could see his eyes mirroring me, but I could see Taichi's eyes scaring him away too. He had become my silent protector but his eyes to me remained as silent, as empty, as lonely and as distant as in the day I first woke up at the hospital.  
  
It was lunch break. Mimi and Yamato sat on the grass and started eating, this time the food not quite each other. I picked my lunch and stared at it. In my mind it was like a giant lunch and by just looking at it, I'd loosen all my appetite. Even the pleasure of eating had been completely denied to me.  
  
I looked around at my friends. Taichi was laid on the grass staring at the ceiling. I could see his hair floating softly as the wind blew. Mimi and Yamato had stopped eating the food and started eating each other again. I thought that no one would notice my lack so I stood up and walked away. I went to the dust bin and threw the food away.  
  
Then, suddenly I felt a presence behind me. I turned to face the devil's eyes. It was Kay. He grinned. I started panicking. I shouldn't have left my friends. I looked around. There was no one there, no one. I tried to pass him but he stood in front of me. I couldn't go ahead or step back cause behind me it was a wall. And he was too fast for me run from one of the sides.  
  
Too late. I felt his hand touch my cheek. I pulled it away and stepped back. My heart bumped faster than I would ever think possible. "Come on, Sor." He grinned. "Can't you forgive me?"  
  
I could feel his hand touching me but I didn't want him to do it. I pulled it away again. He stared at me. He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me against the wall. I winced as my ribs hit the hard bricks. "Kay, please, just leave me alone." I asked, though I knew quite well he wasn't going to do anything of what I would ask him.  
  
I wanted to get away so I tried pushing him, but he was too strong. I started sobbing acknowledging that I would never escape from his claws. He wiped one of the tears from my cheek. "Don't cry. I just wanted you to stay with me." I glared at his eyes. The eyes that had been my hid out from my impossible love with Taichi. The eyes that had kept me safe and in which I trusted.  
  
I could feel him getting closer to me, too close. I felt his breath on my neck as he leaned to kiss it. I tried once more with all my strength to pull him off. And suddenly the hands that held me against the wall released me.  
  
I stared at a very angry Taichi grabbing a very scared Kay's arm. "Leave her alone. You've done enough to harm her." Taichi said in a voice that I didn't recognize. Kay looked into Taichi's eyes and then to me, and then again to Taichi's eyes. "This isn't over Sor." He yelled back as he walked away.  
  
I looked to my saviour. I hoped to see joy for seeing me well and had saved me but there was none in his eyes. Once again, I stared into a blank Taichi, with no feelings towards me. Not anger, not joy, not sadness, not nothing. It was like all his feelings for me had been erased from his heart. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as I saw him just turn away and head back to the place he had come from. Just like a knight who rescues the princess and leaves her quietly showing nothing towards her in front of her king and return to his castle to wait for another call of his king.  
  
Again the pain was too much to handle. I ran away. I couldn't hold my tears back. I cried and cried until I reached home. The pain was stronger then ever. It was like my heart was being crossed by thousands of swords at the same time. Like thousand flames burning inside of it. And it hurt me, it hurt me too much.  
  
I headed to my room. The time had come. I knew I wouldn't be happy ever again. Not with the knowledge of have hurt the person that I loved the most. Not knowing that he was because of me that his eyes didn't shine anymore.  
  
I wrote a letter. The paper was blue as my dreams and the pen was black as my real life. I put the letter inside an envelop and wrote the words that had cost me my happiness to know. "Taichi Kamyia".  
  
I sat on my bed. Everything was strangely quite. I couldn't hear the sound of the children playing on the streets. I couldn't hear the sound of their laughs of happiness and joy. I couldn't hear the birds singing or the wind whispering unknown words of a distant pass and unexpected future to the trees. I could only hear my heart bumping.  
  
I wiped my tears to the back of my hand. The pain was just too much to handle. I couldn't stand it. I stared at the ceiling. It was beautiful, it was all beautiful, except for my life. I cursed the day I met the green eyed boy. I cursed the day that those chocolate brown eyes had stolen my heart and completely taken my soul. It was only my body that wasn't his. Not because I didn't want him to have that part of me too, but because I was too weak and too stupid to tell him.  
  
I looked around me and then too my hands. It seemed all so unbelievable, so unreal. I picked the sharp object at my side. I was over. I allowed my self to lay on the bed. A red fluid dropped heavily on the carpet. I winced as the metal met my other arm, but this was nothing compared to the pain inside of me, but soon, it will all be over.  
  
I closed my eyes as I felt my blood dropping taking away my hateful life. As I was loosing my conscious my mind drifted away to places too well known by me, bring back memories that I had tried to bury. I could no longer have good memories. I allowed as the pain of un unsolved past entered me in a dying moment. Soon it will all be over.  
  
I felt like hours had passed, but only took me seconds to destroy myself. I felt my brain blacking out. I could almost hear foot steps on the hallway. I smiled as the image of an angel was the last thing I saw. "Aishiteru Taichi."  
  
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Well, did you enjoyed? I hope so. I'm so happy today cause I got lots of reviews and that means that people are actually reading my fan fic and want to give their opinion. Well, I know you don't ant Sora to dye, but this was what I've planned all along. Now I don't really know what to do, I'm confused. Anyway, sorry I was so late to update and thanks for reviewing.  
  
Oh, one last warning. This is not the final chapter okay? 


	13. 12 No Wings To Fly

12 No Wings To Fly  
  
Five years passed. A young brown haired woman walked along wither husband into the cemetery. She stopped in front of a grave and put down a bouquet of red roses. She knelt on to the grave and she started crying. Her husband knelt by her side and put his arms around her shoulder giving her the comfort she needed.  
  
She held in her hands two letters, one with blue paper and the other with yellow paper. Her husband, a young man with blue eyes and blond hair, looked to the grave. "We miss you." He said. In the grave we could read: "Taichi Kamyia January, 2nd 1988 to October, 11th 2006" and under it "Sora Takenouchi April, 23rd 1988 to September, 10th 2006"  
  
The girl still concealed the letters in her hands. The cursed letters that had caused so much pain and suffer. Takeru picked the letters. He had never read them. Hikari was the only one that had read them and she was the one that insisted that Taichi and Sora were bury together. He opened the blue paper letter. He could tell by the calligraphy that it was Sora's letter.  
  
Dear Taichi:  
  
When you read this I'll no longer be here with you. I hope you can forgive someday for being such a cower. I remember when we were kids and we said suicide was the most cower way to solve our problems. I guess we change and our thoughts changed too. Please understand that this was the only way out of the hell road that I had taken. I couldn't bare anymore seeing you with your empty eyes and empty soul, knowing that it was my entire fault. I couldn't stop he pain that day by day consumed my heart. I couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. I couldn't. Just want you to know that I loved you and I still do. Please forgive me.  
  
Love Sora  
  
At this point Takeru's eyes were already filled with tears. He sat on the green grass next to their graves and started reading the other letter, the yellow paper.  
  
Hey Hikari:  
  
Hope you don't get too bad with this. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not going to your marriage with T.K. in a couple of years. I'm very sorry sis, but my heart is broken and cannot fix it anymore. The little pieces spread all over and some of them were taken by my angel when she decided she didn't belonged here anymore. I know it's hard to understand such a cower way out, but you'll understand. I was the first to get there. She was still breathing. Blood was already all over the place but her eyes were open. As I approached I could almost feel her life vanishing and her last words were aishiteru. You're in love too, so you can almost understand what I've been through this last weeks. I just can't stand it anymore. I can stand going to class and not seeing her there. I can't stand the idea of never being able to call her name again, or hold her or simply look into her eyes. I think you understand me Kari. I'm sorry it had to be this way. I just have one last wish. Please bury me in the same grave as Sora.  
  
Your brother Tai  
  
Takeru understood now the reason why Hikari had wanted her brother in the same grave as Sora. It was his last wish. He crawled to the graves and put the letters down in their graves. He still could remember Sora's happy smile and lovingly eyes and Taichi's messy brown hair and melting chocolate brown eyes. In that day he decided that he would write their story. The story of two lovebirds condemned to never fly.  
  
He got up and helped Hikari to stand up too. Her eyes were filled with tears. "I wish Sora and Tai had never died." She sobbed while she leaned her head against Takeru's chest standing her back to the grave.  
  
Takeru caressed his wife hair and hold her in his arms. Suddenly a strong wind blew taking the two letters together with it. They rose up in the skies till he could no longer see them.  
  
The End  
  
I know, I know, this sucked, but Sora had died anyway and for them too be together well then Taichi had to dye too. Sorry for the dilate and the short chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. 


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